It was an epic journey of Joseph, Mary and little baby Jesus.
“Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him." And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet, "Out of Egypt I called my son."” (Matthew 2:13-15)
“But when Herod died, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, "Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child's life are dead." And he rose and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there, and being warned in a dream he withdrew to the district of Galilee. And he went and lived in a city called Nazareth, so that what was spoken by the prophets might be fulfilled, that he would be called a Nazarene.” (Matthew 2:19-23)
Imagine hosting the Son of God in your family. But before getting to the “teach him to walk in the path of the Lord” part, Joseph first had to keep him alive from the persecution, because his birth challenged the sovereignty of the king on earth. First they fleet to Egypt, then when they were about to go back to Israel, Joseph noticed something was wrong, and then being warned in a dream to go to the district of Galilee. The description of this adventure is not long. It doesn’t tell us what the evacuation entailed, logistically or mentally.
I wonder how Joseph and Mary felt. Had they ever ask verbally or silently in their heart, “This little baby is the Son of God, isn’t he? Why things would turn to be like this? We can’t even be like normal parents to nurture our son in a settled place, but have to flee all the way long.” Joseph was “afraid” to go Archelaus. How distressed this fleeing period was.
In times when we say “yes” to God, we know there would be a price to pay. Because following his calling always requires surrender and sacrifice. But at the moment we don’t even fully understand what a “Yes” would entail in the time unfold.
A while ago I was talking with a friend, who shared with me that she wasn’t sure if she could throw herself out to serve the same way again as last year. Because that thing was completely out of her comfort zone. After doing this last year, she understood and experienced the cost. I understand her feeling, because of similar struggles.
The first “yes” is not easy to say, because we may not know what it is going to entail, what would be the sacrifice we would have to make. It requires faith to overcome the unknown and uncertainty. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that saying “yes” necessarily becomes easier in the second, third and fourth time onward, when we are being asked by God. Because, compare to the first time, we know better of what it may require us to sacrifice, and may even have experienced the cost and the pain. This may even require greater boldness to say “yes”.
While the first time may be a great test of faith and courage, the second, third, and fourth time onward of saying “yes” may be more of a test of perseverance. Of loving him regardless. Of not to lose heart to pray and press in. Of being constantly and consistently faithful to our commitments. Of being willing to pay the price.
Attempted to be sneaky and being convicted this weekend. During my night walk today, so much memories had been brought up to my mind. Standing in a place where I truly tried my very best to contend faithfully last year, conviction just came and tears just ran down. It’s a conviction without condemnation, so gentle yet so deep. “What am I doing here? Where is my faithfulness? Chris Lau, please be faithful.” I sat and repented. Memories of the wondrous works and unexpected fruit and unimagined grace he has orchestrated just came as pictures and short films in my head. Eyes were still sweating. I asked him to bring me back to that faithfulness last year. To that pure heart, in the desire of pouring out for Him in humility.
A small conversation really concerned me this afternoon. “I want to learn from your faithfulness. Basically I want to be like you.” A friend I honour just said to me today. From the depths of my heart, as her friend, I truly hope that she could find someone much more faithful to learn from. Definitely instead of me. For I know how unreliable I am, and how unfaithful I can be. There are times I keep falling into same traps repeatedly, and there are times I tried to sneak away, also times I tried to fulfill certain commitments in minimal level so as to escape from the self-condemnation of being “completely unfaithful”. There are times I am just ridiculous.
How much do I need him to keep my faithfulness. How much do I need his grace and comfort to learn to be faithful and obedient.
A sermon I heard in Taiwan really touched my heart -- We can measure a lot and make sure we are completely ready before we commit to God, and we can try to live a life largely in comfort zone, to avoid any inconvenience, to avoid any price too great to pay, but such life doesn't need any miracle. If that kid held onto his five loaves and two fish instead of giving them to Jesus, this small portion of food would never feed 5000 people. The only way to multiply what we have into ten folds and thousand folds is to completely lift them up to Jesus, to pour out for him, and He would multiply. If you think holding five loaves and two fish would secure you because at least you have something in hand, this is what all you can have. If you are willing to commit in Him even in things seem too big to handle, this is where you are gonna experience His power and glory.
Yes, I am ridiculous. Yes, there are times of attempting to sneak away. Yes, there are times of stumbling. And yes, there are times I don’t understand how come things would turn in this way. But, times like this is never meant to be the end. Just as the fleeing journey of Joseph and Mary. Both times when they fleet to Egypt and when they tried to go back to Israel but eventually had to go Nazareth, the Scripture narrative ends by saying “this was to fulfill what the Lord has spoken by the prophet...” and “so that what was spoken by the prophets might be fulfilled.” So does in our life, I believe. Every distress moment, every trial, and even every stumbling time, He already knows. Nothing like this can ever surprise him. But in his mercy and grace, all these will turn to something refines our heart and our mind, and to fulfill the life plan He has for us. The plan of giving us a future and a hope.
This Chinese worship song really moves my heart recently. I translated the lyrics into English. Every trial and every struggle amidst what He entrusts us is a test and a refinement, of the genuine love to him, of the steadfastness to be faithful, of the perseverance to contend, of the selfless love to serve, of a heart of worship to regard all areas in life as one to worship and to love him.
A Heart of Worship
I lift up a heart of worship
Meaning everything I have
Every breath and every decision is for you
Until the day of your return
Regardless of how much it costs
You said worship cannot be pretentious
As long as the sacrifice is from my heart
You would delight and be pleased
Regardless of how much it costs
When I say “I love you” again
I will mean it from my heart in sincerity
Heart to heart, heart to heart
Abyss to abyss echoes
Refined by fire, get purified
To worship you as who You are
Memories can be as clear as the puddle's reflection
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