Trust

I can't remember how many requests I made during writing the prospectus and after failing the defense. Neither am I able to count how much love and kindness I received. To love can be difficult, but to ask and to receive are also not something easy. I experienced a bit of this difficult feeling before I asked friends to proofread, to give feedback and so on; as well as after I received overflowing kindness from them. What surprised me the most was their unexplainable willingness to help and support. There have been friends telling me “Chris, let me know if there's anything I can help,” “it's my pleasure to help,” “let me know if you need anything from Pton library when you're away, I can scan it,” “I wish I can do more for you,” “we will pray into it,” etc. Looking into their eyes I felt the genuine care, and I know those words are not only polite phase randomly from their lips. And there were friends who eagerly asked to meet and talk before I fly out, even though I will be away for two weeks only.

After experiencing all these, I am especially thankful to a friend, who allows me to share burdens with her. I still remember, the first time she shared one of the heaviest burdens in her heart was about one and a half years ago. Back then I was even worst than now in learning to care about friends. And I didn't realise how important this issue was to my friend, therefore I wasn't being nearly as faithful as I should in praying for and supporting her. This touches me a lot on the difference between to care about someone and to care about what they care. 

I thank this close friend for sharing her struggles and prayer requests even after knowing there's something going on in my life. Because it shows her trust on me. She trusts that I would still be willing to contend with her regardless. She trusts that I would uphold the promise I made to her. Because I know it was not easy for her to press the “send” button to invite me bearing burdens together. Because I see the change that she shares more prayer requests in different life areas with me compares to the past.

This truly means so much to me. For I believe trust is a gift that we may try our best to sow seed, but ultimately God is the one who grows it into abundant fruit. For trust is a beautiful mark of deep friendship that can freely receive and freely give without feeling bad unnecessarily. For this is a gift I don't deserve but freely received from God and from my friend.

“Jesus I pray that you will lead Chris to divine encounters, and some of the relationship will grow so deep that will even become lifelong ones.” A friend prayed this over me yesterday. No one knows about future encounters, but I trust that this prayer is already happening in this deep spiritual friendship.

“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)