True Forgiveness

“Why didn't you tell me when you make the decision in January?! Oh wait, there was something going on between us back then… But yea, it’s fine now. Do let me know if there’s anything I can help this time!” A very good friend said to me.

There was something happened between this friend and I since the beginning of summer last year, and we did not talk until this January. We did not get into vigorous fight or argument, but there was just something both of us held responsibilities, yet I think mine was greater, but we couldn’t really help in certain way.

Until this January, when we ran into each other in an unexpected occasion, “shall we just let it go?” my friend asked initially. It opened the curtain of reconciliation, and a genuine conversation over dinner just completely cleared the air.

Since then, this friend has been offering help so faithfully and selflessly in my preparations for Generals and prospectus, even when he was in different time zone, even when he also had important deadlines. Over these two months, he has texted and told me countless times to not feel bad but ask for help if there’s anything he could help even in little ways. Despite not being able to offer academic advice to his research, I also tried to show support in ways I could.

In this friendship I experienced so deeply of true forgiveness.  

I saw friendships ended because of conflicts or misunderstanding; I saw friendships could no longer get back to where they were after certain hurtful experience; I saw friendships that still have remnant of obstruction from certain hard time even after “reconciliation”.

But in this friendship, the hard time unexpectedly refined and deepened the connection.

True forgiveness means to really completely let go of what we thought as offended us in the past, and not holding onto it anymore. True forgiveness means restoration of trust and acceptance. True forgiveness means we would pour out from a genuine heart when that person is in need, without thinking back any offence or disappointment. True forgiveness comes from a heart of truly treasuring the relationship. True forgiveness is a precious gift first from God, and extended to human relationship.

“Hey, you should get back to your FB posts after the prospectus. Your last post was when, like two weeks ago? Your readers are waiting for you!” My friend said. Though he might be one of the three or four people who feel this way.

True forgiveness is a fruit planted by the seed of mercy.