Would You strengthen me?

Hey Jesus, it's me again.

Sigh... I found it a bit annoying for the things kept being changed. I have to rework on things for many times... God, help me to have a flexible mind and peaceful heart. And thanks for the phone call by Esther. I really believe loyalty to friendship or commitment does not come naturally. It requires mutual investment of time, care, and effort. Without her working together, I might have collapsed, or I might have quitted already.

Jesus, there are sooooooooo many things to do. Sometimes I get to a point to be irritated. And I really cannot concentrate on the cooperative morning prayer thing. I mean, I know I should be much much much more faithful than now. BUT, I can't for now. I need time to grow. I feel like, we already have so many things to do, and obviously lacking enough sleep and rest. So I actually just turned off the camera. I cannot concentrate. I am sorry. Would You please show me Your perfectness in my weakness? Sometimes it really becomes a huge burden to do the preparation, alternative fasting, and daily 6am cooperative prayer ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Not to mention my study, and the topics I want to write about so very much. Writing in Japanese really comforts my heart.

Jesus, I need You to help me hanging in. There were some moments I no longer looking forward to the event, but just want to get it done as soon as possible, and then I can leave everything (okay, not the books) and go back home.

Jesus, thanks for reading my prayer. This is not something I could / should share with a random Christian friend and ask for prayer. Neither do I want to share too much even with my good friends who are working on the same thing, and facing the same struggles. They already have enough to worry. I really do not want to add any extra burden.

And when I look at the MC script, I don't know how I am going to do that...

God, please calm my heart. Let me find rest in You. Let me find comfort in You.

Thanks for accepting me as who I am. In front of You there is no need to pretend to be faithful or pretend that we do not have reluctance at all. You already know everything.

And thanks so much for the chances of personal ministries. Every conversation turns out to be a huge blessing to me. They make the cooperative ministries sustainable to me. I think I will die if I am just doing all the admin. and logistic things. Jesus, I really treasure the individuals You brought into my life. Every life story, every sharing on the joy and the struggles, every prayer (even just meal prayer), every conversation connects heart to heart. They all make me feeling like I am really doing something meaningful.

Jesus, set a fire in my heart. Give me excitement and anticipation. Give me faith to lean on You. Give my heart rest.

Time to get back to emails, transportation arrangement, and the M.C. script. Jesus, strengthen me to tackle the things I consider as impossible. Because in You nothing is impossible.

Yours,

Chris