Passed. The burden since last year finally came to an end last Thursday.
Looking back on the past few months, His goodness and faithfulness has been beyond words. He never failed to be my keeper even when I was stumbling; He never dozed off but be my great shepherd all the time; He never covered His ears up from my prayers when I called for His presence to come and when I was in need of rescue.
The exam was certainly a risky try. Since last November I had been seriously thinking about change my research field. After a series of consultations and consideration, I eventually decided to follow my passion and interest to shift my research from modern Chinese to modern Japanese history, a field I have taken some courses but was definitely not my specialisation. It was a huge struggle and uncertainty for whether I would be able to finish the Modern Japan readings in four months while people usually spent at least two years to start from scratch. I didn't quite know how these four months passed, but just grace upon grace, and mercy upon mercy.
And even for my physical condition, I know it was Him upholding me over the exam week. My body was so exhausted during the four-and-a-half-day written exams to an extent that I felt dizzy when I tried to walk faster; and there were nights I just slept for 3-5 hours. Yet He blessed me with a peaceful heart that I didn't have trouble sleeping, and my eyes could still be wide-open the following morning. I started feeling hungry after passing the oral exam, which made me realised how many times I substituted a normal meal with something light like soup or yoghurt. And He already prepared a friend to make me fantastic Vietnamese food, and I basically swallowed all with a horrible manner.
The past week might be the second or third most toughest period in life. But He's so faithful to let me experience His greatest peace and joy like sweet wine in the midst of this trial. After all, He knows what is the best for me.
Also, the past weekend might be the period I received most prayers in my lifetime till now. Thanks my families, mentors, and faithful friends who are always so willing to pray and intercede; to show love and support by different ways like calls, texts, food, etc.; and to bear burden and share joy throughout seasons. Thanks so much.
At the first place I do not deserve anything from Him, yet He chose to give His Son, Jesus, to redeem me, and to give me an abundant life by restoring the relationship with Him. His generosity extends to my entire life. From daily bread to peace and strength to face trials with the purpose to refine my life to be a bit more like Jesus. And in these three years at Princeton, even there were so many times I strived to fix things on my own way and strength, every time He convicted me with His tender love and called me to completely rely on His might, He who always contends before and behind me. He allows trials to come in order to let me truly experience His goodness and faithfulness. Even this year there were so many moments my faith became so weak, He never ever left me alone on the battleground. Though He is a King whom we should abandon everything but to run after Him, His perfect love is so strong to an extent that He came to seek us. What else can I say except "I am not worthy but I humbly and thankfully receive Your grace"?
May the rest of my time in Princeton, and my life, be a pleasing offering to You.
No comments:
Post a Comment