"What is the hardest thing for you to lay down when you pour out to serve people?” I am definitely not a novel person, but I really love to hear and to learn from life stories. That’s why I ask questions like this in deep conversations. Different genuine responses inspired me a lot, and encouraged me to learn to be more humble to serve. But a friend’s answer deeply struck my heart, and is still stimulating me to reflect more. “When God asks us to pour out in ways that we did not receive before.” She said.
It is not that hard to kindle a thankful heart after we receive. We more or less understand we don’t deserve anything, but all is grace. When a faithful friend was so patient and kind to be a trustworthy shelter for my rambling sharing of struggles and growth on the walk of faith over two years, and told me she loved to have meals and talk with me, I felt so loved. When a friend with a huge serving heart was so willing to stop on her way to listen to and pray for me in two of my very distressed moments last semester, I felt so moved. For I know I deserve neither their love nor service. With a heart of gratitude, we have motivation and strength to empty ourselves to serve as the way we were blessed.
However, to pour out in ways we didn’t receive is another story. In times, when the way of pouring out actually costs something deep and great in our heart, it is easy to run into frustration and ask "how do I know how to serve without the experience?”, if not asking “why me?” However, my friend also shared how God brought her through this wrestle. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)
It is exactly in ways we didn't receive yet have to pour out would we learn to completely humble ourselves as broken vessel and rely on God alone. For all the love, compassion, comfort and even humility are gushed forth directly from His living water. For He never sends us without contending before us and filling us up with what we need to pour out in His Presence, if we are willing to first empty ourselves before Him. For He is our greatest Comforter in all circumstances and afflictions.
In our groan and sigh in the midst of sacrifice, He let us experience a little bit of the suffering and a great comfort that Jesus walked through. And He grows our serving and thankful heart, by letting us to savor the honour of being called to serve the people He loves so dearly, and to take up the cross daily to follow Him.
It is not a comfortable wide gate with fame and worldly treasure, and indeed it requires so much humility and sacrifice that costs us something deep. In times we have to let go of our schedule, our pleasure, our pride, our plan, to name but a few. But this narrow gate will lead to a life that brings him delight. And this hard road always overflows with His grace and comfort as promised.
“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” (Proverbs 11:24-25)
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