Was talking with a few friends about prayer life. People have different prayer style, but most of us noticed there are quite big differences between praying for ourselves and interceding for others. And sometimes, the latter one appears to be less "difficult" than the former, for we mainly pray in supplication for others; whereas we may all experience times when we are running out of words to pray for ourselves on our own. There are also times we strive to articulate eloquent prayer in the aim of pleasing His heart.
Being in a highly intellectual environment like Princeton, often we are told or expected to fix problems on our own. As graduate student, we are supposed to be the one who know our research topic the best, etc, etc. Sometimes, teachings like this also invade the spiritual life. We strike to scoop words out from our brain to form prayers when we don't have words; we toil ourselves for the "best ministries" when we actually don't know how to serve certain people; we try every possible way and resources in our spiritual low as like leaving no stone unturned so as to try getting back to the point where we can feel His presence.
While we definitely should stay faithful consistently and constantly, how many times have we forgot even our faith is a gift from Him? How many times have we overlooked the beauty of humbling ourselves as a child to ask Father God searching our heart and teach us to talk to Him? And, how many times have we left out the awareness to immerse in and to follow the flow of living water that guides us to people and things He entrusts us, but were occupied by schemes and projects made by our own hands? I know I forget all the time.
One night during my vacation in Hong Kong, I got convicted to wash dishes for my mom made us a super delicious dinner. So my sister and I went into the kitchen, rolled up our sleeves, and started playing while cleaning the dishes. Odd enough, my mom was indescribably happy and touched. She was really SO happy by seeing her child who never did housework to do this for her. Honestly, she was more than capable to do dishwashing and didn't really need us. And by letting us do that, she had to bear with our clumsiness, mischievousness, and the risk of me breaking any bowl or dish. But what delighted her the most was not much the outcome, but our heart.
Isn’t our spiritual life the same? God doesn’t really need us to do anything for Him, for He is omnipotent, and He is more than capable to satisfy Himself in every sense. Yet He delights in letting us to partake in His work, and in a pure and faithful heart. It brings joy to Him when His children seek Him and set their whole heart to know His heart.
The path of learning to love Jesus is not easy, to be honest. But the love to Him is simple. A heart that longs to bring a big smile on His face, and rejoices and delights in seeing His smile.
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