Sunday, December 20, 2015

等候, 那信實的祢 I wait upon the Faithful You

(Scroll down for English version)
剛過去數天是來到這裡後最難捱的日子之一。原本看似已經安頓好的事情,原來仍然未能解決。結果,計劃一下子全被打亂了,也碰上暫未能解決的麻煩。有一刻,我真的感到這條路已到了盡頭,前面再無路可進。但,祂的信實超乎我們的認知與想像。祂給我友好與前輩,去安慰我,也替我設想可行的解決辦法。祂又讓我碰到一位從東歐過來的飯堂職員,她分享了一個很美麗的見證,在那個困難時刻穩固了我的信心。祂的恩典如此豐盛,遠遠超過我們日常所需。He indeed cares our heart.
由於臨近聖誕,很多學生都不在校園,所以專為學生而設的教會週日黃昏崇拜就暫停了。昨晚正打算參與週日早上的成人崇拜,卻感到上帝引領我到我在紐約的教會。原本也很掙扎,畢竟天寒地凍,加上山長水遠。但我真的很需要安靜下來禱告,最後還是決定去了。我很慶幸,也很感恩作了這個決定。從敬拜到講道,我知道祂在對我說話。
對,有時,上帝好像在放假中,任我們如何迫切去禱告祈求,所得到的回應是一片寂靜。也有時,彷彿真的覺得,祂在不斷延遲,甚至忘記了祂的應許。但,一個經常被我們遺忘的事實是:上帝活在永恆中,祂並不受線性時間所限。換言之,在我們的時間感中看似延遲的應許,對祂而言其實並非延遲,祂也沒有忘記。「主看一日如千年,千年如一日。」(彼得前書 3:8) 在等候時,我們可以做的,或許就正如先知哈巴谷,「我要站在守望所,立在望樓上觀看,看耶和華對我說甚麼話,我可用甚麼話向祂訴冤」(哈巴谷書 2:1),換言之就是懷有信心謹守位份去等候祂。然後上帝對哈巴谷說:「將這默示明明地寫在版上,使說的人容易讀。因為這默示有一定的日期,快要應驗,並不虛謊。雖然遲延,還要等候;因為必然臨到,不再遲延。」(哈巴谷書 2:2-3) 因著祂的信實,就算今天我們還未看見應許實現,但仍憑信心領受並為將要得著的應許而感恩。因為,祂的應許永不落空。
感恩今早能聽到這篇深度證道。
我的那個問題至今仍未解決。我仍要等候。但我深知道,甚至在我出世以先,祂已預備了我一生的道路。感謝主容讓困境臨到,叫我學習更像耶穌。(OK, 我知道仍有很遠很遠的距離) 人生正正在傷痛時,感悟到要放開一切,唯獨抓緊最重要的祂。成績事業財富社會地位等等,真的真的不是人生最應該抓緊的東西。唯有祂。當然,在我們的學業、事業、各樣責任上也要盡上最大努力,但人生是一場學習放下其他distraction去尋求祂,並體驗「耶穌是我生命之主」這句我們經常說的話所包含的真正意義之旅程。
今天的禱告,我仍然有很多不同的祈求。所以從我的祈禱而言,禱告比較像是我訴說然後上帝聆聽。但往後繼續在祂恩典中成長,盼望有天我唯一的禱告是「願祢的榮耀在我生命中彰顯,並藉著我的生命彰顯。」
還有就是,上帝真的很棒! 除了我們的屬靈生命,祂還關心我們日用的飲食!今天教會聚會後,與兩位香港友好相聚,享受了愉快的一天!我們先到一間日本人經營的咖啡店,享用了一杯很美味的Matcha Latte,抹茶味很濃郁,令我回想起京都的宇治。然後我還跟日本人咖啡沖調師聊天,談談日本生活與這邊的差異等等,很好玩的對話。這真是我最愛的外語。這位日本人更送我一片抹茶蛋糕,懂日文真好!還有,我所遇過的日本人當中,很多也真的很友善!
然後與友人到了唐人街吃香港茶餐廳(雖然在此前飲了很大一杯Matcha Latte...) 然後,到了比吃甜品更刺激(至少對我而言)的環節:到零食店尋寶!好些日子沒有看到那麼多日本零食。任我如何努力,還是掩蓋不住那幼稚的笑容。今晚買的補給品,應該夠吃一段時間的。有時,我真的搞不懂究竟自己是26歲還是6歲。無論如何,感謝友人在碰面時經常把我照顧得好好的,還成了我的紐約美食指南!
Jesus,謝謝祢如此長闊高深的愛。在祢的同行外,祢還把很多人事物帶到我的生命中,讓我能體驗喜樂,也有力氣與勇氣走下去。祢的愛如此超乎認知與想像。

Last week had been one of the most discouraging hard times since I came to Princeton. Something likely had been settled end up did not work out. I ran in deep trouble. And I have been in a indecisive and uncertain situation, which at some point made me feel like it's the end and there's no way to move on. BUT God's faithfulness is beyond words and our comprehension. He sent friends to advice and comfort, and He brought me to a lady who works in the school cafeteria to share her tough yet beautiful testimony so as to strengthen my faith. His grace is so abundant and is far more than daily bread. He indeed cares our heart.
Last night I felt like He called me to the Sunday Service in my NY church instead of the one nearby campus. Hardly surprising, struggles came. Cold weather, long travel, etc. But at this point I really really need rest in His presence. So I went to New York this morning. And I am glad that I did. Both the worship and sermon were so inspiring and uplifting to me. I know He was speaking to me through the Service.
Yes, in some situations it seems God is on vacation and not responding to our prayer. Sometimes, no matter how hard we fast and pray, the only response we get is silence. It feels like God keeps delaying, if not forgetting, His promises. However, one commonly overlooked fact is, He actually lives in eternity and out of limitation of linear timespan. That means what looks and feels like a delay in human sense isn’t actually one in His sense of time. "With the Lord one day is as thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." (2 Peter 3:8) During the time of waiting, all we could and should do is to be like Habakkuk the prophet. “I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaints.” (Habakkuk 2:1). In other words, to uphold faith and stay aware like a watchman while waiting upon God. Then God said to him, “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it happens to the end -- it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” (Habakkuk 2:2-3) Because of His faithfulness, we take His promises in faith and give thanks for them, even in the day we still haven’t seen them come true. Because He never fails to keep His promises.
I am so grateful to be able to hear this beautiful message this morning.
For now my issue still hasn't been settled yet. And I still have to wait. But I firmly know He already has a plan even before I was born. Also, I give thanks for He putting circumstances and allows trials to come, so as to train my life to be more like Jesus. (Ok, I know there's still a HUGE gap) It's exactly through these painful moments would we come to realise there's nothing worth to hold on except Him. Not academic performance, not career, not wealth, not social status, no. But Jesus alone. While we should certainly remain faithful and diligent in our studies and works, life's a journey learning not to hold on things that worth for nothing in eternity, and to recognise what it really implies by claiming Jesus as the Lord of our life.
Right now I still have lots of prayer requests, and often prayer means I talk and God listens, instead of the other way round. But as I continue to walk and grow in His grace, I pray that one day my only prayer would be "let Your glory be manifested in and through my life."
Oh and God is so awesome!!! In addition to our heart, He also cares our daily bread! Spent a wonderful day after church with two great friends from Hong Kong! We went to a cafe owned by a Japanese, and it's Matcha latte was so goooood! The matcha flavour was very thick that it remained me of Uji (a super famous matcha place) in Kyoto, and I also got a chance to practice my favourite foreign language with the Japanese who works there. Topics ranged from Japanese food and the life and cultural differences between Japan and the U.S. He even gave me a piece of Matcha mochi as a treat. Most Japanese people I met are so friendly!
And then my friends and I went to Chinatown for Hong Kong food. (Yes, we just had a giant cup of Matcha latte...) Instead of dessert time, we had an even more exciting event (at least for me), treasure hunting in snack places! It's been a while since I saw so many Japanese snacks. There's no way for me to hide my childish smile no matter how hard I tried. Ok, I didn't even bother to try. The provision I got tonight should be able to sustain me for a while. Sometimes I'm really not sure if I am 26 or 6. Anyhow, truly thanks my friends for always taking good care of me, and become my Wikipedia for good food in NY!
Jesus, thanks so much for knowing all my weaknesses and yet still love me so much. In addition to Your presence, You put together people, things and circumstances I could derive joy from, so as to make my journey a sustainable and blissful one. Your love is far beyond our comprehension.



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