It's almost Your birthday!! But I will save the "Happy Birthday" for tomorrow.
Jesus, remind me what I have done to make me deserve all these great people around me. You are so faithful, and they are so awesome! I refuse to believe all these as coincidences, instead, they're Your generous blessings for me, Your beloved child, in this very season. The Christmas card from Core Team Family to my parents, it made my eyes sweating for a good while, and it took me so long to finish the card. It is certainly my honour to seek You with all these faithful people. The passionate and caring emails in my third language from a この上なく変な人生の先輩, I am pretty sure I would have asthmatic attack after reading them during the time I was bothered by asthma. The passion is so overwhelming and uplifting that it really moved my heart. And all the messages I received from families and friends. They lifted me up in prayers, sent joke so as to cheer me up, shared their own experiences, asked my parents what happened on me, and so on. All these truly made me understand how blessed I am. So as how faithful and generous You are.
Well, it actually feels a bit weird to write You letters here. I mean, Your presence is always with us, that means before I finish the whole letter You're already reading (?!) it, and You literally looking at the letter word by word when I am typing this (?!). But still, I enjoy praying this way. And I believe You also find delight in reading my prayer letters.
Jesus, thank You so much.
Oh and Jesus, last night I suddenly thought of the conversation with Esther a few weeks ago. I told her that sometimes I wish You could entrust my portion of gospel seeds to Your more faithful children, i.e. those great believers, spiritual leaders and missionaries, instead of me. They are much more devoted than me, their lives are way more influential than I do with their strong faith and beautiful testimonies. While I just keep messing things up, often with times I don't really know how to pray, those great believers can manifest You in their life in a much more overwhelming way, and consequently can bring people both You and I care to know You. But You spoke to me through Esther. She told me I have already been very brave to do all these for You, and all the great believers and disciplines they actually came from a starting point as where we're now. You did not entrust them a whole nation at the very beginning, but You entrusted them individual by individual. Because every individual is what You care the most. Even when times we screw up, it is a process of learning, and it is a lesson of humble to not rely on our talents or experiences, but on Your might.
An as my Heavenly Father, I know that You always take delight in my growth, even it's just one small step at a time. I can never understand why the Mighty You would find it exciting and blissful to ask me to work with You.
Lord, I don't mind if You're not entrusting me with nations or societies, actually I enjoy working with individuals more. But I am really desperate to learn to be faithful on individual lives You lead me to. And Jesus, I really truly wholeheartedly want to see the Sprout!!! I believe the seed had been planted, I pray that (although I know You would, and You have a perfect plan) You constantly water it, provide it with sunshine, fresh air and whatever it needs for growth, so that it can grow!! I believe You're even more desperate than I do, because You love each of Your child so very much.
I have been praying for this seed for a while, and I started to see You move very recently. Jesus, I promised You to pray for this everyday, but actually missed a few days. えーと、ごめんなさい。これから、毎日短い時間でもちゃんとそのために祈るようにする。それを全てイエスにゆだねる！
私のお祈りを読んでくれて、どうもありがとう！色々な言語で祈ってみるのは楽しかった！
You child who's not good at dealing with humid weather despite coming from Hong Kong,
Chris
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